"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
Received an email from a friend in the ministry today. Hearing about their recent adoption from Africa, my heart is opened up again - raw, full of emotions and longings. It is so wonderful to see the Lord's blessings upon their family, the amazing ways He provided for them and I so desire that for our own family. When do we take the next steps?
I want to be open to the possibility that the Lord may not have us adopt. This may be a tool to bring me closer to Him. I may never know His perfect ways until heaven. To have open hands before Him and trusting in His sovereignty. As our finances begin to decrease I sometimes feel hopeless. There is an inner-emotion of sadness I have a hard time explaining. I trust in God's promises and cling to His truths but don't always "feel" them within me. He feels so silent sometimes in words and answering prayers and guidance. I continue to give the Lord my desires to adopt, lay them at His feet, release them to Him. I am so thankful for the amazing husband I have and the 3 wonderful blessings He has given me. Maybe He desires me to learn how to walk with Him in the midst of desires unfulfilled? To trust Him - that He is good and find joy in Him, even with pain in my heart and my desires never to be fulfilled.
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